If you’ve studied Japanese for a while or interacted with Japanese culture, you may have heard the phrase 本音と建前（ほんね と たてまえ）.
These two words describe an important cultural concept in Japan about how people express their feelings and communicate with others.

Understanding this idea helps you not only learn Japanese better, but also understand social situations more naturally.

What is 本音（ほんね）?

本音 means a person’s true feelings or real intentions — what they honestly think in their heart.

It is the opinion you might share only with close friends, family, or people you deeply trust.

Examples of 本音ほんね

• 「正直しょうじき、今日きょうは行いきたくない。」
• Honestly, I don’t want to go today.
  
• 「この仕事しごとはあまり好すきじゃない。」
• I don’t really like this job.

These are thoughts people might feel, but not always say publicly.

What is 建前（たてまえ）?

建前たてまえ means the public face, socially appropriate answer, or polite reason someone gives in public.
It is not necessarily false — it is more about keeping harmony and avoiding conflict.

Japanese culture values 和（わ – harmony）, so people often use 建前たてまえ to avoid hurting others’ feelings or creating awkwardness.

Examples of 建前たてまえ

• 「今日きょうはちょっと予定よていがあって…」
• I have plans today… (Even if the real reason is “I’m tired.”)
• 「また今度行こんどいきましょう！」
• Let’s go another time! (Sometimes it politely means “probably not.”)

Is 建前 the Same as a Lie?

This is where many learners get confused.

建前たてまえ is NOT the same as 嘘（うそ – a lie).

A Lie（嘘うそ）

A lie is usually said with the intention to deceive, manipulate, or hide the truth for personal benefit.
It often has a negative nuance and can break trust if discovered.

Example:

• Saying you finished work when you actually didn’t, just to avoid responsibility.

建前たてまえ

建前 is more like a social cushion or politeness filter.
The intention is not to trick someone, but to:

• Protect feelings
• Maintain group harmony
• Avoid unnecessary confrontation
• Be considerate of the situation

It is closer to saying something indirect or softened, rather than inventing a false reality.

In other words:

Lie → Self-centered deception
建前たてまえ → Socially considerate expression

Why Do 本音ほんね and 建前たてまえ Exist?

In many cultures, saying exactly what you think is seen as honest.
In Japan, however, maintaining smooth relationships is often more important than direct honesty.

So people balance:

本音ほんね → Inner truth
建前たてまえ → Social harmony

This doesn’t mean Japanese people are dishonest.
It simply shows a communication style that values consideration and group balance.

A Simple Situation Example

Friend:

「この映画えいがどうだった？」

How was the movie?

• 本音ほんね: 「ちょっとつまらなかった。」
• It was kind of boring.
  
• 建前たてまえ: 「映像えいぞうがきれいだったね！」
• The visuals were beautiful!

The 建前 answer isn’t a lie — the visuals might truly be beautiful — but it avoids blunt negativity.

For Japanese Learners

As a learner, you don’t need to perfectly master 本音と建前 right away.
But being aware of it helps you:

• Understand indirect expressions
• Notice polite refusals
• Avoid misinterpreting “Maybe next time”
• Communicate more naturally in Japan

Over time, you’ll start to “feel” when someone is speaking 建前 and when they’re sharing 本音.

Final Thought

本音ほんねと建前たてまえ is not about lying — it is about balance and empathy.
It reflects the Japanese cultural value of politeness, awareness of others, and social harmony.

When you recognize this concept, Japanese conversations become clearer, deeper, and much more interesting.

If you want to learn Japanese, improve your skills, or connect with native speakers and other learners, we can help. We offer one-on-one lessons, a supportive community, and on demand courses.

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